She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. Proverbs 31:17 Amp
Many church folks take a traditional view of how the home should run. The husband is to be the sole financial provider for the family and the wife’s place is home with the children. However, I would venture to guess that at least half or more (most likely significantly more) of Christian women with children, work outside of the home. But the Church tends to ignore this demographic, like we don’t exist. The sermons, anecdotes, blogs, experts, etc. that focus on marriage all take the viewpoint as if all Christian women are stay-at-home moms. All of their examples and advice focus on this family model. But what if your family doesn’t look like this? What if mom does work? What if, God forbid, not only does mom work, but she is the primary or sole provider? This possibility is simply ignored in the teachings I hear about marriage. That silence alone makes you assume that it is somehow bad, not good enough, something to be pitied, or… maybe even a sin! (Cue melodramatic music.)
To be perfectly honest with you, being a working mom is not all that glamourous and somedays it can be downright sucky. Like when you have a sick child but you must be at work that particular day. These type of time conflicts are never fun or easy.
But today, because of the life I want my child to have (both now and in the future), I choose to work. And so do many other women. And there are many women, Christian women, who want to work. To preserve her sanity and her family’s, they want her to work too!
Godly women clearly work today. Even in biblical times, they worked. The Proverbs 31 woman, who has been held up to us as the standard, worked while being a mother(Proverbs 31: 13-19, 24, 28, 31) . So, there is really no debate. What we must stop doing is judging each other for how we choose to best take care of our families. Show me a woman who has decided to stay home to take of her family, and I’ll show you another one who gets up every day and goes to work to take care of hers. Why is one right and one wrong? The objective is the same: a healthy happy family.
As all working moms know, there is no such thing as a “part-time” mom. So I don’t really understand the term, “full-time” mom. You never abdicate the responsibility of your child. Even when they are not with you, you are always managing their lives in some way, constantly thinking about and planning for their well-being.
So, stop judging each other and stop judging yourself…and stop judging your husband for not being Daddy Warbucks. Unfortunately, we look at what we think is the perfect family and we may begin to feel dissatisfaction with ours. Couple that emotion with the natural longing for more time with your kids and just more time in general, and if you’re not careful, dissatisfaction will turn into resentment. Especially if you listen to the silent disapproval of the church about working moms (And sometimes not so silent).
Newsflash! Some of us are called into the workplace! It is our mission field! There are people there who are your assignment, who only you can reach. But you are too busy resenting being there to look around you and see who is hurting, who needs prayer or encouragement.
And here’s another newsflash friend – God is in the kingdom business. He doesn’t waste talent. Look at the parables (Matthew 25:14-29). Why would he put those natural abilities and talents inside you if He didn’t expect you to use them? He also has the plan and strategy to help you be and do everything He called you to be.
Enjoy where you are at in life. Enjoy your kids, and if you’re married, enjoy your man. Enjoy contributing to the workplace with your skills. Stop wishing and waiting around for another life. Stop waiting for someday! Enjoy the life you have! Enjoy and embrace being a working mom.